My aunt sent these--don't know where she got them, but they're too hilarious not to share.
\
* Even duct tape can't fix stupid but it can muffle the sound.
* I don't think I'm better than you. I'm just different in a better way.
* I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun.
* I don't need "Anger Management" classes. You need "Shut the Hell Up" classes.
* I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.
* I'm not weird. I'm a limited edition.
* I respect your opinion. I just don't want to hear it.
* You didn't fall out of the stupid tree. You were dragged through the entire dumb ass forest.
* DO NOT DISTURB. I'm disturbed enough as it is.
* Everything GOOD in life is either illegal, fattening or bad.
* Don't rush me. I'm waiting for the last minute.
* Don't judge me because I sin differently than you.
* Don't grow up. It's a trap!
* You are about to exceed the limits of my medication.